When a push is what you need and uncertainty is bliss.

Hi, how are you today?

Two months ago I agreed with my now previous employer that it would be for the best that we terminated my contract, this is something that I should have realised sooner as the job was taking over my life and taking a toll in all areas. My health was poor, my relationship with Mr. Parker was falling apart, I didn’t have the time or the energy to do anything outside work and when I wasn’t at work I was worrying about it, specially because all of what was happening wasn’t allowing me to do the job properly either.

I was miserable and unhappy.

I knew I wanted to get out of there, I was going to work thinking that I just had to endure 8 hours of work and the delightful company of some people who I didn’t particularly liked. Hell.

So one day, after several conversations about my performance and me almost losing the plot I was placed on garden leave which was the best thing that could have happened.

For the first week I slepped between 10 to 12 hours, on the second week I started jogging and looking to get another job, I was curious to know which other companies and jobs could be interested in me and me in them.

By the third week I was being called for job interviews and I had to go back to the company to have a meeting, after the formalities that come with it I said “I don’t want to work here anymore and I would appreciate that you consider this meeting as my formal resignation”, HR and my general manager were caught by surprise, they probably thought that I was going to fight the accusations that they already had written down on the papers I could see across the table. They agreed and payed me until the end of the month plus the holiday I was still entitled. I got out feeling that I was free, I felt like a weight was lifted from my back, my mind and soul. I remember that the sun was shinning. I called Mr. Parker to tell him the good news and also my dad to tell the happy news.

By week four I was getting worried has the calls from agencies started being less and less by the end of the fourth week I got 2 phone calls for jobs that would take me 2 hours of daily commuting but if that was what I was given then I had to go for it. To take my mind of my worries I joined the gym, something I haven’t done in about 10 years and on the first day I got a call mid-cycling to go for a job interview that same morning, it went so well that I started working that same day.

It’s now been 5 weeks since I’ve started my new job and I’m so happy, the hours are the same but I’m not getting out of bed at 5am but at 7am I leave at 5pm and the gym is a 2 minute walk away, when I get home I still have time and energy to do things around the house, have a nice meal with Mr. Parker, watch some of my favourite programmes and not think about work.

I like the people and the environment where I’m working, I like the fact that the office has windows and proper ventilation, I get the chance of seeing the new fashion trends before they hit the stores, I like having time and energy to take care of myself and others.

I’m happy.

Lots of love

Pearl x

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What I’ve been up to

Hi,

Gone missing for a few months as life took a turn for the better.

The only bad news that I want to share is that I’ve gone back to smoking after being smoke free for 3 months, but I’ll try it again and eventually I won’t smoke again.

I’ll be short and simple:

  • Me and Mr Parker moved in together to a 2 bedroom house
  • We are still doing some decorating as we are a bit particular with our colours and designs
  • Adapting to a new life that includes new schedules, new ways of organizing, even a new work route.
  • Experimenting with gardening, just wait until you see my veg.
  • Took a week off work, went to the beach for a few hours and got a sunburn.

I’ll tell you some stories later.

Lots of love

Pearl

The loose powder catastrophe

Went to Superdrug and got myself some loose powder as I was told that mua loose powderholds your make-up for a little while longer and keeps your skin from looking shinier.

As I never tried it before and didn’t look around for info on how to do it properly i soon found out that i shouldn’t play the expert.

Did my make up as usual and to finish it off I was going to apply the loose powder but…

I opened the little box and took the perforated lid as well, well, I didn’t exactly took it off, I yanked it out and all the powder got loose in the bathroom, now I had loose powder all over my face, my eyes, my hair, my clothes, the floor, the sink, the taps, the towels, it was a catastrophe.

Had to clean and hoover everything, change my clothes and have a shower too.

So that’s my lesson on loose powder for today, don’t take out the perforated lid as it’s there to stop you from having a make-up/bathroom catastrophe by allowing the powder to come out in small amounts so you can apply it to your face and not your tiles.

Lots of love

Pearl

Sexy Halloween Costumes!?!?

Was reading a women’s magazine on-line and found an article named Sexy Halloween Poison_Ivy_by_leeruCostumes that got me thinking.

  1. Alice in Wonderland
  2. Mini Mousse
  3. Catwoman
  4. Ghost
  5. Cat
  6. School girl
  7. Playboy bunny
  8. Nurse
  9. Angel
  10. Firefighter
  11. Sailor
  12. Superhero
  13. Jasmine from Aladdin
  14. Mermaid
  15. Goddess

These can be rearranged to the following categories:

  1. Lock your pets
  2. I have daddy/mommy issues 
  3. I want to look like a Kardashian 
  4. My taste in childhood like outfits is weird
  5. Supernatural – because being human is sooo boring

Now, I love Halloween and Carnaval and all takes comes with, the sweets, the tricks, the scares, the decorating and I’m up for a costume but are the ones above really sexy? Do men really find sexy a woman dressed as a child or an animal? I think that Halloween and Carnaval are good ways of self- expression but considering some outfits sexy is just a little weird for me. I’ll probably go out as Poison Ivy this year.

Would love some feedback on this.

Lots of love

Pearl

No expectations, no disappointments.

No expectations, no disappointments.
So why bother?

I find very hard to live without expectations, after all we all fight for something in our lives, either its love, a promotion at work, even the result of a match.

We as human beings expect that our lives will turn out for the best and that no harm comes to us so the idea of a life without expectations seems quite discomforting and deprived of humanity.

So here’s a story.

Boy meets girl, one gets infatuated or in love, and the other one doesn’t, unrequited love at its finest.

But there’s a twist to this story, at some point one of them will say that high hopes or expectations aren’t desirable or welcome (take your pick). Now this is the part where you can finish the story as you well please because the focal point and my question is. Why bother?

Yes, why bother spending time and energy, human resources of great value, if expectations aren’t or won’t be met and there isn’t enough predisposition on the other person to invest the same amount in to a possibility, it might even end up as a simple friendship but it sounds a bit rude, to say the least, that something like that is actually said to ones face.

Of course that we should always be honest regarding our intentions but there are other and better ways of conducting yourself in this situations and we should never be upset about the other persons response to our affirmation.

As I dwell in this question more questions come to mind.

Don’t we owe ourselves the right to experience life and its results whether we achieve happiness or not? A no can be a chance to learn as much as a yes.

We put so much effort in our careers and material goals but when it comes to the more complex human emotions there seems to be a generalised fear of the unknown and of any pain that might come of it.

Seems to me that we as human beings have become such mentally fragile creatures that we simply refuse ourselves to embark on any type of experience that hasn’t been a total success for others because the end result isn’t has pretty as a tv add.

Personally, I bother, I try, I fail a lot but keep on going, some might call me stubborn but that’s me, I expect that every day is a chance to live, love, learn and as much as possible to laugh.

Lots of love

Pearl